A Bad Case of Spring Fever

Spring is in the air. Can you smell it? It smells like three kids stuck in a duplex for 3+ months with Cooler Ranch Doritos and a totally unreasonable penchant for wearing tennis shoes without socks.

Really, though, how did we even survive the winter? Winter was cold, dark, windy, and filled to the brim with Nerf wars and YouTube. Truly, if I had a dime for every time I’ve picked up a Nerf bullet, I would hire someone else to do it.

Winter is just the actual worst. It’s like listening to a meditation narrated by JoJo Siwa or, I dunno, camping. Thinking about it makes me feel less guilty about all the sugar-fueled social media scrolling and dry shampoo. I was just doing what was necessary to survive.

Now that the snow is melting, I can finally feel my limbs coming back to life. My muscle memory of pulling a blanket over my legs like a pigeon-feeding grandma has finally been disrupted by the impulse to clean. And, believe me, no nook or cranny is safe. Too small clothes? Donated. Dirty window sills? Cleaned. Smudges on the wall? Toast. No, those smudges really are toast. 600 fidget toys? Where did they all come from and why aren’t they working?

I admit, the energy of spring cleaning also brings a few “mom’s mad” moments. But, seriously, I want answers. Why can’t anyone in this house pick up after themselves? Am I the only one who knows how to use a trash can? Are you all just waiting for mommy to do it?

But, I just remind myself that soon they will be choreographing Tik Tok dances, talking endlessly about Ender Dragons, and begging for screen time from OUTSIDE. Oh, I just can't wait to get those pale little faces into the sunshine so I can clean my freezer with a toothbrush in peace.